This Is A World Of Dreams And Reverie.

I don't know where to start really...
How about this? I have two best friends that I hope to keep forever. Cassie and Danny. They're both amazing people. And help me realize a lot about myself. Danny always knows how to boost my confident and make me happy. He's someone I know I can go to when I'm feeling down, whereas Cassie's the one who comes to me. It's like she knows when I'm not doing well. She's a psychic. I know it! Hahaha. But seriously.
Cassie has helped me come to a strange revelation. I'm not over the past. I'm not okay. I care a lot about the people I meet and I'm not ready for another guy. I mean, to a lot of people that will seem stupid, but it's true. And fortunately for me, I know my approval is all I need.
People are just people; and I know that now more than ever. Guys will be guys, even when they don't want to define it that way. I know not all guys are the same and it's okay. Girls will always be jealous and bitchy in one for or another, but that's alright with me.

I know I'm not perfect, but that's what it's all about.

Forever She's A Dancer

My Life Would Be Wonderful With You In It, I Would Be Happy To Wake Up To You Every Morning. -I Miss You.

So since my last blog I've found out that I do not like one of the guys I liked before, but I do like another. A blog a lot in the summer, because I know once school rolls along I won't have as much time.
Anyways, I've recently come back in contact with a past friend who moved. He told me the cutest story that warmed my heart and made me smile. I had been in such a crappy mood, because a guy I know has a girlfriend who cheated on him and he hasn't dumped her. It's just frustrating, because I care about him and I hate that he's letting her cheat and lie.
Meanwhile, I'm recovering. My last relationship ended on the second to last day of school. Me and this guy, Matt, had dated for 3 months. He got an infection in his lip and gout in his foot so we couldn't go anywhere or kiss. I went to see him a lot, and his excuse for thinking about breaking up was we never hung out and I wouldn't "do" anything with him. Sorry, I'm no hoe.
The new guy I like is an old guy really. Another one of those that never got a chance. After he moved; I realized just how much I missed him. I sent him an IM and he said he'd come visit me while he was back from Florida!

I'm so excited for what's to come!

Because I Only Wanna Be Wanted By You.

Well my life's taken a turn for the worst. The guy I like, is now the guy I thought I liked. He's always been there for me and I know I should give him his fair shot, but there's no..... Chemistry. No fireworks. No... Unconditional love, on my part. We went to the pool to hang out and for me it was just... Awkward....... He text me after we left:
Him: What's wrong?
Me: Nothing....
Him: Do you not like me?
Me: I don't even know......
Him: Ok
I don't even know what to say to that. I think I'm gonna cry. I don't want to hurt him. I want to like him.... But I can't. It sucks, but it's true. And I'm not gonna do that to myself. My life has been dedicated to everyone other than myself, until now...
On top of that. My friends asked if I was going out with this other guy named, Kyle. Kyle still has a girlfriend! My life is epically fucked. Because now I don't know if I still like Kyle. Wtf.

I can't find the words to say, but I'm gonna go on anyway.

Tell Me That You Love Me, And It'll Be Alright.

Why are guys sooo complicated?? I just want to have a simple life, with simple people, and simple love. All I want is what any girl wants. "If you're a bird, I'm a bird" "Unconditional Love" Moulin Rouge, Phantom of the Opera, Twilight... The Notebook! Why can't life be like that. I would love to be swept off my feet and have a love to last a lifetime.
I don't like to date in the summer. It ends in disaster. With one guy we didn't hang out enough and the rumors of him cheating were too much, but, with the other, we hung out way too much and he became a jealous bastard. I don't know what else to say. That's the last time I dated in the summer... Until this year.
I hate breaking my words to people, but other people who've been there longer, and, sadly, are just more important get promises. And I made one I intend to keep. I promised to go out with this guy in the middle of July. I did that because I like him a lot and I know he would wait longer, but I also know he wouldn't want to. And I can tell he just wants to make me happy and that's the whole reason why this is even happening.

I can tell that this is going to be an interesting year.

When You And I Are Alone, I've Never Felt So At Home.

How Aren't You? I've Liked You Ever Since I Met You.
Wow. How things change so quickly... I'm not gonna say who sent that, but the value of it is more than it probably should be. How weird is it that even the most simple statements can make me so... Happy? I think that I'm losing my mind, for real. How about this... I should be a Lesbian! Wait... No.
Hahaha. Well how about this, no boyfriends in the summer unless they're straight out of school. It's so complicated to date in the summer. Rumors, hot heads, cheating and such. I get summer boys. That sounds like a bad statement, but really it's not. It's like... Guys who want to date me and are friends, I don't date in the summer. So instead I hang with whoever they are like a special-friend kinda deal. Not Friends With Benefits. That's just stupid. I mean I hang out with them more than other people and just let them act however, but no kissing and shit. That would be retarded and like cheating, but not technically.

Self-Inflicted Wounds Are My Specialty.

I'll Be Outta My Mind, And You'll Be Outta Ideas Pretty Soon.

So today I went to Terre Haute, Indiana for my great grandmother's 101st birthday party. Unfortunately, I didn't know most of the people. I've been to tons of family events, but I just didn't remember any of those people. Awkward? Yes. Very.
Oh yeah. I went swimming for the first time this summer. I got sunburnt on my chest and cheeks. Bahh. Healed nicely though. My ex-boyfriend, Matt, was working that day. He wasn't supposed to be, that's why I went. But he was and it was surprisingly okay. It was my friend Alex that caused the problem. I told him this story and it was like he didn't listen to it because as I was leaving, he tried to kiss me. Boys.
So the story I told Alex was that I like these boys; Kyle, Tilur (pronounced like Tyler), and Brandon. I've dated Brandon before and Tilur's liked me, but Kyle's a new one. Brandon and his girlfriend just broke up because she cheated on him. When I asked him about it, she flipped out on me. She's crazy. Kyle and Tilur both have girlfriends. Brittany cheated on Kyle apparently on this trip she went on, but is denying it so he's waiting for her to get back. Tilur... Idk what's going on with him. I used to not like him, but I feel like I do now. I was telling him about the guys I like and he guessed he was one of them and I, being me, denied it. He told me he was in love with his girlfriend, Kylie.

I guess I'm just out of love and out of luck. For now that is...

A City Sparkles In The Night.

A brief break in my impossible life. I don't exactly know how I found this site or why I'm here, but when I got to it I immediately knew I had to try it out. I don't really know what to write about. My experiences I'd say are unique and complicated.
I have two older sisters; Alannah, 18 and Arleenah, 17. I also have a mom named AnaLissa. We all have brunette hair and brown eyes. Here's where my life gets complicated. I don't have a dad. My mom and dad split not long after she developed a disease called myoclonus. My ex-dad is now in jail, and I live in my grandparents house in a small town. They're controlling sometimes, but I'm blessed that they took us in. My younger cousin, Hailey also lives here. She's 12. My Uncle Jay lives here too.
I have several friends that I care more about then anything. My life's been dedicated to anyone and anything around me. I have two dogs; a beagle-labrador named Casey and a yorkie-poodle named Bailey. Both are girls.
I love sudoku and coloring books. I also like to play video games; like Halo, Gears of War, and Skate. I read a lot of books. I break my Cell Phones a lot too. My favorite soda is Dr. Pepper. It's amazing ^_^. I listen to a lot of music also. I like bands like Owl City, Nickasaur!, Mercy Mercedes, Cobra Starship, and Hey Monday; but I also listen to Coblie Callait, Lady Gaga, Akon, Brad Paisley, Britney Spears, Chris Brown, Silverstein, Coheed and Cambria, David Cook, and David Archuleta.

That's The Story For Now.