I don't know why, but every time I get close to someone... I want to let them go. I just told someone everything I've ever felt about them and it's never enough for me. It's like I have to help the people who need it and I can't stay with the people who want me, like want me.
Guys can be very sweet and emotional... But I can't do it, I just can't... Nor can I be the Time Traveler's Wife. I can't be with someone I know can't be there for me when I may need them the most. And even when I feel like I can give more than what I have, I still can't stay. I need to learn to tell people how I feel after I tell them how I used to feel... I just feel like I'm letting myself down...
I'm fifteen. These are the years of my life. I don't want to... Well not waste, but... Use up my love on one person. I want to make people happy... I don't know what to do anymore... I miss what I used to be all about. I miss the happiness and love. I miss the spontaneity. I can get back to it and I will... I just need some time.
I just want to make people happy and help them to the best of my ability. I guess I won't be able to help some people, but others I will. And I plan on it.
And At The End Of The Day, If Nothing Else, I Am Love.
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You're a teenager. We're supposed to have fun, be a little reckless, make mistakes, and learn from those mistakes. If you want to make people happy, then you have to be happy yourself otherwise whats the point? At the end of the day, I'll be there if you need someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry, and a friend to share laughs with.
ReplyDeleteLive your life to the fullest now and don't let anything hinder that experience or take it away.
You're not alone in feeling this way. I'm looking back too and realizing the girl who I wanted to change, is the girl I want to be again, because she really wasn't as flawed and boring as I thought she was. I miss being happy.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure when I will be again, but I think it has a lot with what Danny said - accept that you're going to make mistakes, learn from them, and move on and live your life.
I love you :)