One of them is sweet and gentle, another a complete mystery but understanding, and the last just fun and funny and kind. I'm slowly, slowly breaking my heart. Killing myself from the inside out. I want everything to be alright but it won't. It never will.
Homecoming was the best night ever. It was perfect. It was unique. It was everything I could imagine and more... But why? Only to wake up and face the truth. I'm a fuck up. I've been playing myself into thinking I can just not choose and I have to. It doesn't matter how cute I look or how hard I try to be happy. Honestly, I hate how I hurt these guys and myself... Saying this year has started out hard is an understatement on so many levels.
I just want to lay down and never have to get up again. To have all my problems disappear and all of my guys happy. I love them more than the world itself. Happiness and love is all that I wish them. I would never ever want anything to hurt them even though I am right now... I want to be able to keep them with me forever and ever and never have a problem... But that's impossible.
Life. Is. Impossible.
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life is tough.
ReplyDeletebut it's too interesting to give up on.
keep going. you've got too much to look forward to