I can't stand myself. The emotions rise in fall in my heart and the tears stained into my face can only be of the heart I have that toys with the emotions of overly emotional people, such as myself but in greater scales. My mind wanders the school to the faces of the people I see five days a week almost every week for over half a year. The school year messes with my head, brings out my inner thoughts, and wrings out my emotions. I can't stand it. It's almost unbearable just thinking about it.
The music I listen to, the stories I read... They're all just part of the big misunderstanding I am. The wandering disaster that I've molded my friends to believe. The happiness? Fake. The confidence? Fake. So what's left? The story of the perfect family life? Not! Not one person can even relate to what I've been through. I would never wish someone to walk in my shoes and and see what it's like to be me.
The envious stares from girls and guys alike. The sadness in my friends. The honesty that I shove out my mouth because I don't want to owe anyone anything. I can't stand the pressure from all sides of my life. My mom, sisters, grandparents, friends... Everyone just gets to me. Everyone has a voice to be heard and I pride myself in my willingness to let people speak, but I have a voice to that is so solemn heard it almost envies the words my ears deliver to my brain. The very thing I take pride in I despise, but love.
So how is it then? That I can talk about everything to everyone and still feel so misunderstood. My pistandrophobia, or fear of faith in men, causes my irrational behavior that I so hate. The thing I hate most though I think is knowing that I have pistandrophobia and I still can't do anything about it.
So why don't you all sit down, listen to the tale I'm about to tell, hell, we don't have to trade our shoes and you don't have to walk no thousand miles in my shoes just to see what it's like to be me. I'll be you, let's trade shoes just to see what it'd be like to feel your pain, you feel mine; go inside each other's mind just to see what we'd find... -Eminem
Look At Shit Through Each Other's Eyes.
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i think everyone is, to some extent, misunderstood, some more than others. i'm supposedly a very hard person to understand. you seem to be too.
ReplyDeleteit's not a curse. it's simply another way of living. embrace it.
i have faith that you'll be fine. i have an inkling of what it's like, especially since we go to the same school and no one seems to really want to understand you. they all just want to say they know you. don't let them bring you down too much. you're too good for that
I love you, Kay